Let('s) go

I said let it go

Let us go.

It not Love and you still reiterate on it.

In my eyes you rather seem weak.

You give Lust a new name. Love.

You are trying to run but you hardly hide your weakness.

I feel pity of your esteem.

Though I kissed you, it means nothing when its dawn.

New day but same old miseries.

Had I Kissed someone

with a goodbye timebomb, again?

I cried thinking if I had a cursed love life.

Thinking if I've to battle it out all alone.

Praying for prayers to be answered.

hope i'm not living a cursed love life.

i can't play second fiddle.

i can't let you just taste the kisses and leaving me to misses

Occupational Hazard in my Job...

To Business Development Manager,

I am writing this letter with utmost apology regards to the damage done to company’s notebook. I believe that my reasons are valid and acceptable to seek leniency for the payment of notebook damages.

It was during a road show in Marine Parade, on 9th May'08, when the mishap took place. As the road show was conducted outdoors, the strong winds were uncontrollable and had caused things around the tent to fall off. While clearing the mess, it was then an unnoticed cup of sugared drink has spilled onto my notebook. It was truly beyond my control to prevent such a mishap timely.

I understand that equipments given to us by the company is our sheer responsibility to take good care of. However, in this situation it was truly an unfortunate thing to have happened.

I am more than willing to pay for the damages. But to pay a price as high as my one month basic salary for the above-mentioned event would really be de-motivating and highly stressful for me. I would like to seek some leniency and a discounted price to pay for the damages. Your understanding is much appreciated. I am available for face-to-face clarifications. Thank You.

Yours truly,
Nithya L Krishnan
Agency Code: M93 55088
Tel: 98435709.

cc. Maybank Partnerships Channel Head and Partnership Distribution Director.

A letter that halved my damages paid for my laptop.

When the mind gets over the body.

Soccer is one sport that has pushed me to the limits. I had faced insults, pain, disgrace, glory and joys and many more.

During the tournaments years back, the familiar heat was my biggest headache. Water bottles kissed me more than anything(one) else. Tiredness is hardly spoken of but felt throughout. Big Deuter bags that cling on to me through thick and thin. The bus would be filled up with light hearteds and laughters that never wondered about the upcoming challenges.

This time same scenario but different purpose. The game is played in the forest. Trekking up the 64th Highest Mountain in Malaysia, Gunung Ledang, Mount Ophir. Organised by a die-hard Liverpool Fan, Vengaji the leader and owner of Awakening Centre. Not to mention my passion for Arsenal, if not soccer bites could occur.

It was a memorable trip. An extraordinary for all bodied and minds. A retreat to nature has never been this much since my 2004 Chiang Mai Adventure.

Looks like I'm painting a beautiful picture here. Yes I am. I could only beautify it in my room because I'm safe back from the trip. But when in the jungle all, at 1000 feet above, I was thinking only of the staircase; The trail that leads back to the starting point.

Let me tell how it all began. There are heroes and heroines over here if not for blunders and mis judgements and of course Never Say Die Attitude.

First we headed first for the waterfalls. Got ourselves fun and wet and none changed as we get set for the climbing. It was almost NS alike. Mind you, this trip had 90% percent ladies.

The idea was to get set for 4 check points. But as soon as the 1st group (younger and well bodied), where I was in, got up to the 1st Checkpoint-CP1 the group of mothers were still trailing up. Understandable. Yet when they reached up, FINISHING the plan was on their mind. Salutes to them.

Now settled at Checkpoint 2 (CP2), 1000 odd feet above. The 1st group, yet again reached first and this was where the saga brewed. The team of 25 got disbanded to 3 separate groups. 1st group wanted to finish the trail. The other 2 were far behind. The guides' decision was all that we had to follow. They were inexperienced yet sounded promising. We were told that if we follow this new trail, we could reach the Elephant Pond and CP4 within an hour or so.

Now its passion above patience. Shall we wait or make a move first? We wanted to reach there so much ignoring the time. It was 4pm. Not a good idea because upon returning it would turn dark. Darkness while you’re thousand feet above ground? I leave it to your imagination.

The 1st group left CP2. Leaving behind the 2nd group waiting for the 3rd group. We felt like warriors. Tiredness was hardly felt. But as we kept moving, climbing upon fallen trees and kneeling below trunks gave us the first signal of fatigue. The time on the watch gave me the creep. Realising that returning would be a dark and dangerous adventure. I was afraid. I didn't have any torchlight so did all the other 7 hikers. I wished I had carried my TIGER EYE Bracelet. How could I ever forgot my favorite of all bracelets.

I told the co-organisar Thana, lets head back. Soon one of the 2 guides recieved a message that the 2 groups had discontinued the trekking. I wished this would support my plea. She didn't listen. She was my good friend, like an argument in any relationship, I raised my voice with displeasure. Mentioning it would be illogical and impractical if we continue. Turning back at darkness would be worthless. As usual, her strong faith within rejected me. "Why give up when we are almost there". I got enraged. This is a spiritual trip. I kept repeating 'No anger over the mind'. You think I was cool...Na??? I was honest to my emotions and couldn't control it.

Halfway through after 45 min, the team gave up. We didn't want to continue any further. Are we giving up or giving in to safety measure? We gave up... Thana listened. Her actions really irritated me as she preferred to listen to others than to me. I expected this from her. Somehow it seems slightly revengeful as she didn’t wish to listen to me since the beginning.

As we head back, unfamiliarity travelling in the darkness gave me the creep. The other 7 trekkers were cool, and kept going. I was telling, thing are getting ok. Just move on. No point getting frustrated as its disrespectful. The trail to CP2 seemed never ending . In the darkness there were only two torchlights and a long trail. The speed had to slow down. On the contra I found it to be thrilling. I started enjoying the pain.

It took an hour to get back to CP2. The remaining gangs were waiting for us all these while for solid 90 min. Thanks to them. We had huge relief when we saw them.

Soon we started trailing back. Many strong minded were seen at this time. Vengaji, carrying his son for the past 3 hours. His wife June supporting and ensuring all is fine and well in the darkness. Komala's shoes rubbered heels came off leaving her less supported feet to feel the rocky path throughout. Nava aunty had troubling knees and age to deal with. 2 guides carried her till the end of the trekking. Salute to those guides. Not failing to mention thirsty hikers, blistered feet, aching bodies and many more...

At the end of the trail, I had learnt many other things...Leaving us with memories and smiles within.

and We Never Walked Alone as Members of the Awakening Centre.

I sell something that

i sell something that is highly needed by the less priveleged, needy and low incomed. but i prefer to sell it to the able ones cos they promise the contract.

i sell promises that can't and would never be promised to be delivered by me but only by my principal.

i sell something that is unsought. and i know that only emotions are the way to go.

i sell expensive 'tissue papers' that protect you in mishaps.

and i don't sell that by singing songs or walking to tables. but i'm given a deejay to sing songs and give the talk. and i have tables set at my territory.

i sell 1st prize tickets where the owner don't enjoy but only his beneficiaries upon his death.

I sell insurance for the listeners and protection for the loving ones...

I love my job that allows me to see who i am really... do u? Love yours I mean?

coiled pleasure

its a relaxin and mind blowing day.

all i need next is a good weekend break. lookinng ffffooooorwardddddd.

just love malaysia.

Tongue Lashers.

I wish you to know what is on my head.

1. I'm not rich. If I were to be, I'll be shaking leg at home.
2. I'm not uptight but I just have this stern face as you're really amusing me.
3. I've nothing to say for you. So pls just shut up boasting.
4. I'm sleepy cos you're boring.
5. I bitch about you to my friends and cash on you when you're unaware of it.
6. I'm sorry if you mistaken my prompt response to be some sort of interest towards you. Its just that i've free incoming calls and 500 sms free and my co pays my phone bills.
7. I've seen too many dramas like yours thus I don't wish to hear your stories.
8. If you're a special one, I'll be full of heartfelt compliments.
9. If I can't stand you, you probably know it and somehow you'll try your best to alter my impressions.
10. J. Murugash < none of this but 8 is for you>
11. I think you're deprived cos you keep talking about sex
12. You'll probably been with dokes cos you seem to think all girls are meant for kinky fun.
13. If I'm busy for you, probably you've to try your best to come up with good reasons to meet me.
14. If you see me boasting probably I'm trying to get you to a challenge.
15. You have been telling me your taste of kind of girls at every instance cos you have (most likely) known that babes will not look at you.
16. You have been toying or been toyed by girls and now you have given up and plan to keep a domestic goddess to play God in your defeated love world.
17. You give up relationship cos you know that none will fall for the low self esteem you.

Go On...

Dedicate my lines back to me...

only to realise its been lil too late...

leavin u to only dream of...

saying something stupid like I love you

she draws a heavy sigh looking at the mirror.
the stoic glass of red wine is left half filled on the dressing table.

she looks at the wrinkle cream, guessing its content left.
looks at the improvement of her wrinkle on her eyes.
bereaves at the impact of aging.

she knows that her man is losing interest.
he can't recognise her to be the woman of her dreams.
though his wedding band is the only witness to that dreams of his.

yet he comes over and kisses her cheek.
encouraging every line on her face is a glory path for their love.
never once to give up on his love.
and wishes her happy annivesary...

and i wish that would be a perfect upcoming scene in my life one day some day...

I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time

To spend an evening with me

And if we go someplace to dance,

I know that theres a chance

You wont be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place

And have a drink or two

And then I go and spoil it all,

by saying something stupid

Like: I love you

I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies

You heard the night before

And though its just a line to you, for me its true

It never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say

To make the meaning come through

But then I think Ill wait until the evening gets late

And Im alone with you

The time is right your perfume fills my head, the stars get red

And oh the nights so blue

And then I go and spoil it all,

by saying something stupid

Like: I love you(I love you, I love you,...)

sang by an amateur for an actress...

Tears

I could hardly cry. Not even handle the truth.
Only to choke on myself. I wish to cry over something I've lost. But have I ever found it to lose it?

I wonder who instilled that thought "keep going".
It makes me to go without looking back.

I can't have the power to say I love You. Neither do I have the strength to anticipate the response.

I wish to hold your lips to mine. Yet I know it will never be mine.
Tears could solve the problem. But it reminds me as an act of cowardice.

I wonder what is the true self me. Will you be sent down to reflect on me.

Ohm Shukraya Namaha

Can I go for what I want?
Or would you label me arrogant?
Or find me confident?

I just want the man of my dreams to come to me and say...
You are the one... I've lost and found.

Lost and missed

Ever missed anything in life tremendously that it brings u near to tears.
Sometimes food really does wonders. If you know that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, No You are not aiming any high but that is the spot....

Well thats a cliche. You can almost see it in movies.
The fish curry scene is one. Whereby our well known gaffer Sivaji Ganesan's acting in Mudhal Mariyaathai. Caught it on TV last week and yes that is a Classic Gold scene. Upon compelled to try the dish, he was brought to tears with ease.

And what about the movie Ratatouille. The signature dish brought the sterned upper lipped critic to reel back in memories. To his good ol' mom cooking. And then instant accreditions to the chef.

I too miss something like that. My grandmothers fish bone pepper soup. The unillustratable ingredients well blended to give me the kick. Till date none has cooked or even created it.

And also her love and attention I get without fail on Sunday mornings. At the market, there I'll heap on mangoes, chocs and chocs. Well even then aphrosidiac is on my mind always.

Lost her to Someone G(o)od and still miss(ing) her gifted moments and savours.

And many many others that I'll miss... and had lost...
Perhaps I can make up for it with the one I love.

HappY Mother's Day

There was a boy in town. Or it seems he's hardly in town. Due to money making process and regulating orders on the 22man field.

Looks like he has a tough date to match. His hitch to someone who would be well domesticated to his absence and mother's needs i guess.

There was a gal always in town. It seems she's always in town trying to be the talk of it. She feels that she's too settled and wants to get settled cos she deserves it.

She met the regulator for business deals. To smoothen his money making process. But the regulator showed in actions he is not keen on it but on the dealor(she). She realised he's full of fake and his smile was the best Hyena smile she ever seen.

And recollection of unpleasant DeJaVu experiences reeled in. She has no need to keep her cool.

She Lost Her Self

Message to nobody.

Pointer.

If you know what you want. Feel firm
If you know what you want and want to get it. Feel strong
If you know what you want and you know that you will end up in hot spot. Fuck yourself.
Don't harp on it.

Perhaps acting too smart isn't impressive.