you know wat.

Are you there forever?

You are one big confusing man...
When I ignored you before, you'll came begging for my attention every night-
To meet you at a corner for some carcinogen sticks.

My eyes were stuck to the diluted white fumes and you watched through my eyes fishing for signals of attachment.
Praying that I'll still have the same old crush towards you.
But I crushed your hopes when I voiced out my dates and beaus.

You stroked my skin, without any reciprocation on my side
And would shamelessly tell that me you are still attracted to me more than any other women.
I most probably ignored your words & arrogantly told you that my Mars is in Scorpio and probably its natives are highly attractive among opposite sex.
You questioned it to be a Curse or Boon?

Love or seduction?

You diligently put up with my stuck-up attitude and carry on caressing me.
If I were to cry a lil pain you’d instantly massage me.

But now…. When I run back to you the same way as you did, you are so…
Karmic enough, I’m carrying your curse.

Please say that you’re still the same…
I can’t accept you to be indifferent….
Look into me and say Please Leave Me…
I will discard the years from us.




Great lovers never got Married

Still can't accept her demise...

Being in this insurance line for about 1 - 2 years- mentioning death, illnesses, disability is so common that my sales presentation would sound odd if I not at all pronounce these.
Somewhere in Feb this year, a hard news came knocking on my world. A test to my profession that was just starting...

I might soon have to witness a painful passing away of my aunt. She has two young boys. Her illness is soon to be terminal. Her illiterate husband is clueless. I've something to do with her existing insurances as always. Thank God, financially she was saved.

When my mom told me this news, I couldn't fight back my tears in sleep. Her 2 young boys', aged 10&12 respectively, whose future was a big question mark.

Going back to work next day was like revisiting hell. I really couldn't focus. To worsen, we'd a training to let us know of an addition to the list of critical illness. Even there cancer has place as the no.1 devil.

To assure things would be fine, I went to visit her in the hospital. The sight of her tubed with fluid food and respiratory system, made me wished harder that it wasn't her. Watching her sound asleep while tears drew its trail on my cheek. Crying seemed as an act of cowardice &/or emotional, thus I'll quickly revert to my normal strong self. So I'll quickly make a move before her or my relatives would appear out of nowhere.

She was angry with us it seemed. She didn't wanted to see her hubby's (mom's bro) family. Nonetheless, I knew that she had nothing of hatred towards me. I still have lots of gifts from her. Like the T-Shirts she bought for me and handed down some as they were too small to fit her.

Yearly Deepavalis I'll taste her signature Basmati Rice Briyani. Sundays will be spent at her home savouring Peranakan & Malay style dishes. Sometimes she'll take orders and they'll be prepared without any hassle. All she would do is give me a ring & I'll be at her doorsteps within minutes. Her house is just a block away from mine.

I really miss her. Till now, I'm still unconciously telling ppl that I'm going to Athai's house, never to uncle or Pravin hse

We had many playful, light hearted conversations on what kind of man I should marry- Why I shouldn't marry late? How much she would want to see me married like others? Complaining on her sons and yet praising their school performances and many other personal conversations which she might not have shared with her family.

If there's a month to forget it'll be October 2008.
During then I could only recall the final toll of pain hitting her life. For that I pray that she'll never have a rebirth as human soul but to just rest in Peace.

The only thing I've always wished for during her funeral prayers is that "Give me the support and strength to help bring up your boys as you've always wished for"

Still can't believe you ain't here anymore...

Ideal Lovemaking is by grunting?

Weird news...

'LATEST: MAROON 5 frontman ADAM LEVINE has denied reports he claimed he ditched tennis ace MARIA SHARAPOVA because she was a "terrible lover" who refused to moan or move during sex. The pair dated briefly in 2005, after meeting at the Russian Wimbledon champion's 18th birthday party - but their romance soon fell cold. Levine was quoted in Russian magazine Exile as saying, "She wouldn't make any noise during sex... She just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration'." However, Levine's spokesperson has dismissed the quotes as being "absolutely not true". '

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/levine%20denies%20criticising%20sharapovas%20lovemaking%20style_1041149

Me to Levine- She ain't any passionate with you boy... Too BaD...

Maria Fans might agree with me that her excessive grunting should just stay on court to distract her opponents. Or At least let him not get turned off hearing her aggressions...

Or Perhaps thats the reason why Levine dated her...

Maybe the lil demon in me wonders if noises do turn guys on? (if you wish to respond to this qns pls do so anonymously)

Btw... Where are all my readers?

Are you all busy or find it tad too much to digest the contents here?

My new tagboard awaiting you ppl...

bleah bleeah...

Wat the F...
Move on...
Stop complaining...

Save me

Past few days my face just can't show its true smile...

School is really killing. Progression is a must. Doing it so with a degree might accentuate my standing in career. But Nowadays I just cant show anymore enthusiasm towards school. Classes are to be held thrice a week. And in those days I'll have work roadshow. Thanks to the sickening economical crisis, roadshows are held day in day out.

headbreakin dilemma. I REALLY DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO

If I were to go for roadshows, I've to skip school and vice versa.
Plus these roadshows aren't lucrative as before. People feel cash is king and hardly bother our products anymore. So money and figures are harder to come by than before...Since time is bad, partners expect us to help and stay focused...

Sales appointments crop up at its own time and wish. Definitly cant miss it as it means $$$.
Still aiming for the Summit Club.

School is only 9 modules left. I've to cram it so that I'm done with a basic degree at least.
The amusing part is in those 3 lessons per week share a stark contrast.
Lesson 1-Biz Communication (commerce subj)
Lesson 2-Statistics Maths(Maths)
Lesson 3-Typography(Arts)

with all 3 assignments each week.

Roadshows that start at 11 till 10pm... that are almost daily for us
I'm dying...WTF--NEver been so excuses...

Coming soon in new year---
I might just quit my job or school or country...

Feeling FCUKinG Irritated...

REALLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY
FFFRRRRREAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG
IRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTEEEEEDDDD.................................

$$Ka Ching$$

Shania Twain playing Devil's Advocate probably to the banks...

We live in a greedy little world-- That teaches every little boy and girl

To earn as much as they can possibly-- Then turn around and Spend it foolishly. Weve created us a credit card mess

We spend the money we dont possess.Our religion is to go and blow it all

So its shoppin every sunday at the mall

All we ever want is more A lot more than we had before

So take me to the nearest store [chorus:]




Can you hear it ring It makes you wanna sing
Its such a beautiful thing--ka-ching! Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings Youll live like a king
With lots of money and things

When youre broke go and get a loan Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford To go and spend some more when
You get bored

Lets swing Dig deeper in your pocket
Oh, yeah, ha Come on I know youve got it
Dig deeper in your wallet Oh

Hypnotized.....

In this intoxicated heart * This desire to fly * Where has this come from?* this confidence *
Oh my beloved *

These winds * Ties its knots, in fabrication * Remain in play, in here *
These droplets of rain, * Involved in this conspiracy* The whole universe *
All that constitutes in here, * The questions asked * Oh my beloved *

In conversation, my eyes As this * world pronounces * Its judgment, upon me *
On language of heart, * This love desires, and asks * Where is this storm? *
Carry me on these avenues * New this concept is, * The first promise Of union amongst us *
Carry on * I walking * In my toes, the fireAppears to me, *
Spent all my life in strangers * Belong I not here, take me *
To your deserts and mountains * This ignorant world In presence, *
the enemy * Oh my beloved! *

Nicer dance steps from 7:34 onwards