Saturday, March 24, 2012

Listening, understanding and judgment.


A salesperson asks questions to unearth opportunities. He identifies what this individual/organization lacks in terms of services or products so that the salesperson can provide their prospects some money worthy solution and gather their trust. Sometimes their experiences in previous sales could give an advantage in proving their sales pitch.

Therefore it is by asking questions, which leads to information gathering, which then allow us to provide a solution and eventually trusting relationships.

Doctors- ask questions or rather examine their patients, refer to their previous case studies to diagnose proper.

Lawyers refer to their past cases. Understand the psychology of plaintiffs and defendants, later assess the situation and even manipulate to win his client cases.

Who doesn’t judge? Who doesn’t ask questions to help other? Who doesn’t analyze to solve problems?

As a person who has begun to start dating, trust me, there is no escape from the bull shit of judging the opposite person. There is no escape from that act. I rather found it to be very hard but no choice.

When we listen to couples stories, relate to our own mistakes in past relationship; remember our parent’s ways of handling their own relationships etc lead us to lots of pre-determined judgments.

Ever since I’ve been a sales person, where most of my experiences lie in direct selling, I lost count on stories that I’ve heard and even seen. When we meet someone new, chances are they will not disclose us lots of their secrets. Sometimes we ask questions, sometimes we let them speak.
However, to play it safe on whether to fully trust the person on the other side, we let go of our guards by being open. Which in turns lead us to listen to their fantasies, thoughts, mistakes and desires? This pretty much gives us an idea of who they are and what makes them.

Nowadays whenever I get to know a person, I’m no angel that I do judge a person. Often negatively. Sometimes I do that on purpose because it is some kinda thrill and a point of relief when the person I’m getting to know proofs me wrong of my own judgments. I like surprises and the pleasant ones like these could lead even put me in peace.

However, even my subconscious mantra of not to judge a book by often faces its own challenges. I just can’t help but to ‘kill’ some of them off. It is about who I want to spend the rest of my life with and who wouldn’t wanna make clearest choices. தவளை தன் வாயால் கெடும். Some I met just speak to their own death. Some were impressive however again faults could be on my side. As usual no regrets cos I’m a very confident girl who loves the single hood. (sometimes I’ve to stop hating being single).

And now I clearly know one thing right. It is like studying in a university with no clarity. Not sure how many modules left, when will one graduate, who is the “teacher” but am just enjoying the journey of education. I’ve made lotsa mistakes, hurt people unknowingly and have spoken venomous words.
Let this be a space where I can just forget and forgive whoever has crossed into my path. Cheers….

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