So much of Fault Within yet With Awareness

I will not pretend I was flawless. 

I spoke too sharply,  sometimes let pride guard my wounds instead of healing them. trusted envious snakes easily thinking they have shed their skin for the 1000th time  silly stupid me  

I refused to listen to my own inner voice. In the middle of conflict, I forgot that strength is not in winning arguments, but in mastering oneself. The truth is simple: I am princess of blunder.

Yet mistakes are not the end of a story. They are lessons. They teach me to detach like a queen — to release the grip, to let both hands off the handle when the battle is no longer worth holding. To stand up, own the damage, and transform the same fire that once burned others into the discipline that builds something better.

Yes, I Remember - I showed security with reliability and detachment. I didn't stayed on the past too long but moved on with awareness on Present and Hopeful with Faith.

Quietly. Steadily. I rise again. Wiser, steadier, and far more dangerous to my old weaknesses. Then I remembered even this act of detachment leads to envy of others… esp those power hungry and insecure ones  

Because at my core, I am built differently. I have always been a born idealist and a rebel, naturally drawn to change, progress, and new ways of thinking. But outwardly I portray as logical. 

Enthusiasm drives me, it drrives toward ideas, philosophies, the arts, and the deeper questions of life. My interests are broad and sweeping, and I have little patience for people who hesitate endlessly or lack conviction.

I carry a strong sense of justice within me. When I feel something is unfair and unsound, I can react quickly like a headless bitch, sometimes too quickly. What to do.. If I can captivate with calm speech, the devil inside me also grows tired, doesn’t it. 

What to do when I've embraced the Demons and Angel within.
That's the reason on the surface I may appear calm, agreeable, even gentle. But beneath that calm lives a spirit that will stand and fight the moment something feels wrong.

I can’t be in a place where one is treated like a dirt. Actually I was for a couple of years. For withstanding by it, I lost other important zest in my life and still remained faithful for shallow followers. It is about time to get out with head held up high. 

Perhaps that is also why the falls this time isn’t hard as before. 

But every fall refines the will.
And the story continues — not with bitterness, but with clarity. Let me cry a little, Laugh a little more.